Anticipation and Finding Familiarity: Learning Again in America
Coming from the Gaza Strip, I never expected to arrive in the United States right in time to celebrate the fourth of July; but I think that encapsulates my time in the land of freedom. Things are a lot more like home than I thought. Before leaving for my Fulbright scholarship in the United States, many of my friends, family, and colleagues were surprised by my interest in traveling to a faraway country for the sake of learning. As I began to send back pictures and stories, they were surprised by the similarities we share as humans. And yes, at the end of the day, the United States didn’t feel that far from home despite the six thousand miles on the map. My time in America allowed me to immerse myself in the experience of being a global citizen — whether it be learning how to tip or giving back to the community.
Born to a middle-class family in the Gaza Strip, my father is a practicing Muslim, yet he taught me to choose my way to worship. My mother is a housewife and is musically inclined, and from whom I inherited my musical taste. My parents greatly influenced my decision to study abroad. Education is something that we value in our house. My father wanted me to take my education seriously; he wanted me to be prepared for college. My mother wanted me care about my grades and to enjoy life as well. In 2015, a friend sent me a link to apply for the Fulbright scholarship to study in the United States. It took me two years to see my dream come true and in 2017, I left my house for the airport in Jordan. I was excited to experience a new environment but I also felt nervous. I was nervous about failing and letting my family down; I was worried about making friends and adapting to a new environment. I was even afraid of meeting people who may think all Arabs are extremists. The anxiety took me in a vicious circle. Only when I let go of expectations did I notice things as they were.
In the beginning, it was tough being away from my family, friends, and support network. Maintaining my friendships and family relationships required more work, but it has also changed me for the better. Now, I’m the one who takes the lead on sharing my news, asking for and offering support. I thought I would be emotionally dependent. Yet, living abroad has given me the strength to stay positive and spread positivity to others. I can overcome the feeling of loneliness by giving back to the community. Two months after starting my journey at Rosemont College, I started volunteering at different places in the local community. Local book fairs are now one of my favorite activities to take part in. I spent quality time with students and families at a local elementary school helping them locate books, find titles for their wish lists, and learn about titles and pricing. I was excited to see books about immigrants and different cultures among the books presented. One of the titles I came across was telling the story of Syrian children who fled their country to find a safe shelter in another country, taking with them what only they could fit in their backpacks. It was an opportunity to share a bit of my Arabic background with the younger students who didn’t have any idea about what was going on in Syria. The students raised a few eyebrows at the story of the book. I believe I felt their powerful, emotional shock as a result of being exposed to a new and unfamiliar view of reality. This shock was productive and necessary to then have them ask me more questions about the lives of other children living far away. Such an experience cultivated a new meaning in my life: the more we know about the other, the more we move toward each other.
Prior to starting my journey in America, I was afraid of missing out on a lot of things. I thought I had to keep running to improve my skills — the huge skills that the graduate level requires. My worries did not stop as I arrived late. My concerns about missing out made me feel so bad that I sometimes felt like I was the only one left on a battlefield. Feelings of loneliness and depression did not help me either. But time heals everything, doesn’t it? I realized later that there was no way to live like that but to stop worrying, and instead, start imagining myself as an infant with a new life ahead of me. And here I am, a newborn, graduate student in America! Learning new things here is as fast as making fast food! I have learned what a good education is and I can feel it when I finish my class satisfied in what I said and did. I feel happy when professors are supportive of what I say.
One of the interesting learning methods I have experienced during my time in Pennsylvania is raising awareness about how we listen to others. I realized that even though awareness can have a lot of definitions, it is best recognized when understanding what the other person is doing and thinking. I can feel it when my classmate listens to me patiently because she is interested to hear my opinion. I can feel it when I experience walking along New York City streets, which is not a mere physical experience, but rather a spiritual, cultural activity. I learned that traveling to New York for me is a money-saving trip in the long run, by seeing people from different backgrounds from all around the world, is a semi-version of visiting the world. It never stops to amaze me seeing everyone gathered in this place to celebrate life. And yes! I did experience NYC life as if I were a newborn baby!
Haneen is a second-year Fulbright student from Gaza. She is earning an MA in publishing at Rosemont College in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania.
