An Alumna’s Experience: You Are Not Alone in This
My story begins with wondering. I was wondering what it feels like to live a life of my choosing. I graduated with a computer engineering degree and constantly tried to fit in at my university and at work, but I always felt like something was missing. I knew there was more to life than staying in a job I didn’t like. More importantly, I was confident that something out there was a better investment of my time and energy. I started by looking inwards and asking myself: What am I good at? What is something that I enjoy doing? What am I so scared to do? And what is the next challenge? So, I began to do new things like writing journals, reading, and talking to the RIGHT people. I emphasized the “right” people for a reason. It’s imperative to have a supportive inner circle of those who want to see you thrive and become a force of good on this earth.
I decided on my major, then I opened my mind and heart and wrote it on a piece of paper. I was genuine and authentic. I talked about the motivation behind my decision and what I will manifest in the future. I wanted to introduce new knowledge to myself and my country. Knowledge is power, and no one can take it away from you. I gathered my thoughts and submitted the essay to Fulbright. Of course, I was worried; I had already spent almost three years applying for different programs . I was rejected, and rejected, and rejected a little bit more. The moral of the story is if you really want something, bathe in patience, fill your heart with faith, and say some prayers. It will happen for you!
In August 2020, I landed in New York, United States as a Fulbrighter. Mind-blowing, right? At least, it was for me. My brain couldn’t comprehend that I had left my family, friends, and my tiny room to move to the cultural capital of the world. I didn’t see the beauty at first. There is a saying that change is hard at first, messy in the middle, and gorgeous at the end. I aimed for greatness, so I studied a lot. I ended up graduating with a 3.9 GPA, worked on and wrote two big research projects, and was awarded an Outstanding Graduate Student of 2021 award in the Human-Computer Interactions department.
I am proud of these accomplishments, but in the middle of the program, I burned out. I overwhelmed myself with expectations and responsibilities that I felt were on my shoulders. The COVID-19 pandemic added extra difficulties, as well. Thankfully, I found peace by talking to other Fulbrighters who were going through the same hardships. My university, SUNY Oswego, also offered great help and support groups. Even if you can’t connect with these kinds of resources, there is a crisis helpline available for Fulbrighters that is just one phone call away. Always remember to seek help if you need it. You are not alone, and rainy days are always temporary.
Over time, I started making friends in the library, my classes, and social clubs. Building genuine connections with people is necessary; you will find great people if you seek them. I met amazing people that I can still confidently call family today. I also found another source of healing during hard times: mother nature. I got lost in the woods, hiked through mountains, and spoke to the rivers. One of the great things about the United States is the environment; you will find nature and parks everywhere! The people and places I found during my Fulbright Program helped me overcome many challenges and come out stronger on the other side.
Before my Fulbright Program, I didn’t have any experience with traveling, and I was never exposed to diversity in color, race, and ethnicity. Finding this in the United States was beautiful. I started meeting new people from all over the world. I experienced the food and traditions of the Hispanic, African American, Asian and European communities within New York. Diversity is a blessing; it shows you can be anything you want once you overlook the abstracts. I also immersed myself in a variety of museums, art, and history. I highly recommend visiting the American Museum of Natural History — you will not regret it.
Saying goodbye to New York was heartbreaking. That place became my home. But life has a bigger plan for me. I intend to teach the knowledge I acquired to others, and this blog is the first step. I hope I can help even just one or two people with it. My journey will continue by learning more about cognitive science and technology and creating something that benefits mental health through research. I hope my words resonated with you. You should be proud to take the first step into change, whether you want to change your career, environment, or yourself. “Nothing works for those who don’t do the work.” Study hard and give your best effort to get there. And open your mind to other cultures and religions once you are there. You will see that we are all ONE, and TOGETHER we rise.
Mairna is a 2020 Fulbright Alumna from West Bank. She received her Masters in Human-Computer Interactions at State University of New York at Oswego
